Many thanks to everyone at CalArts and SUBLEVEL
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It takes 27 days for the moon to orbit Earth, making my ritual 27 days long. The influence of the moon's 27-day cycle has embedded itself into our everyday lives for thousands of years. 27 percent of Earth's surface is land, and I have women friends who menstruate on the full moon every 27 days. It takes 27 days for a human cell to regenerate, healing through the full cycle of the moon, and there are 27 bones in the human hand. In Sanskrit 27 is a Harshad number, which means "joy giver," and in the Kabbalah, there are 27 channels to communicate with God. When is it a good time to mention that a man's ejaculate travels 27 miles per hour? In this (Soma)tic poetry ritual I observed my body inside the Louise Nevelson crystal grid through the cycle of the moon.
Nevelson's sculpture boxes are the full moon seen at once. Each section within is a story of its phases: crescent, quarter, half, full, etc. The light of the moon is not its own, as we know, so I pushed the ritual into the source of moonlight by sitting in direct sunlight each day, feeling it on my face. In my hand I clutched another crystal to adhere myself inside the Nevelson grid. I closed my eyes, meditating on the moon, imagining how the sunlight that was hitting my face shared time with the same light bathing the moon on the other side of our planet. In the United States, everyone seems to notice the full moon and loves acknowledging when it is, debating whether it was full the night before or maybe it is tonight or the next night. In the US there is a dissatisfaction with anything less than the largest possible pie, no matter what it is, but at least I know I can get people excited once a month about the moon.
Nutrients traveling to Earth on the rays of sunlight can feed you no matter where you receive it. You can hide in the backyard where no other humans can find you, but the Vitamin D nutrients will reach you just the same. Standing in the middle of a crowded lunchtime city sidewalk, if you look up, face the sun with eyes closed, you will receive the same nutrients as you would have if you had been hiding alone. There are 27 bones in the human hand. In the sunlight I massaged my hands, honoring the work of writers, hairdressers, sculptors, bricklayers, mothers, carpenters, everyone grasping and lifting the world, and I said the names of the bones out loud: Lunate, Capitate, Hamate, Trapezium, Scaphoid...
My birthday was inside the ritual, January 1st. I became 53 years old while writing the poems, meditating on Louise Nevelson, imagining her sculpture boxes a question of Capricorn, depicted from antiquity as a bearded, horned goat with a fish torso and tail. Astrologers often misunderstand the relationship between our fish-tails and goat upper bodies. Our goat upper-body strength and stamina are said to be for climbing and reaching the top, which makes sense, but the fish-tail is supposed to represent our weakness, an unstable downturn to the depths of water’s subconscious which many astrologers claim we try to avoid, and this is where they are entirely wrong. The problem with interpreters of Capricorn who are not Capricorns is that they want to focus solely on positive attributes of our goat bodies and aspects, much the way we privilege the brain, the upper hemisphere of the body. The lower half is dirty, forbidden, dark, our waistline the border between right and wrong, but I believe that is Christianized thought and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the lower half of our bodies. Get into bed with a Capricorn and know why the pagan gods of Europe have goat horns because we love sex and are not the least bit swayed by monotheistic dictates of "proper" sexual behavior. The fish-tail of the goat is not dragging us down, and it is wrong to insist that this is the world of the Capricorn: torn between our two halves. Quite the opposite in fact! Much like the great Sphinx of Egypt, it is not that the human head needs to tame the lion body but instead needs to harness the lion, to be at one and harmonious with the muscular, wild, fierce lion body, and this is precisely the same with Capricorn. We are learning to incorporate our deepest feelings, to harness that underwater source of potential power, to trust and allow our strong, forceful fish-tail and all it represents to drive and thrust our upper body strength to succeed. Whenever we Capricorns prove astrologers wrong and make our two halves work together as one we are nothing short of unstoppable! We must not allow the suspicious doubts of others to interfere with the possibilities of self-actualization, fully embracing all we have to offer our lives and the world.
Fear of the dark motivated prehistoric human beings to
discover and invent ways of holding onto light throughout the night. We take
light bulbs and electricity for granted, but for centuries we have found many
means to harness different materials to make light: wood, animal fat, beeswax, paraffin,
gas, electricity, etc. I wrote a list of the various ways I have used or
witnessed human-made light so far in my lifetime: electric ceiling lights, floodlights,
emergency exit lights, streetlights, headlights, flashlights, lighthouses, oil
lamps, wood stoves, campfires, torches, candles, twinkling Christmas lights, etc. I took notes for the poem.
Then I taped small flashlights to my shoulders and wore a
thin, colored shirt over top, glowing in the dark while meditating on photos
from the deepest parts of the oceans, where most life on Earth lives. With their bodies these creatures create
light to say Hello, to find a mate, to hunt prey, to detract from
predators. Their language of light is beyond
anything we can convey or experience on the surface of the planet. I took notes for the poem.
I drew a
rough sketch of Whisper and filled in the drawing with black ink. Then I made a kite out of sticks and paper,
gluing Whisper's silhouette on the front.
I made secret notes on another piece of paper with words she knew for
hunting and running through the forest, then glued it to the back of the kite,
or rather the side that takes the wind.
Sending it
up, her rough portrait facing the sky above me, the wind pushing my secret
messages through the kite and into her image.
Because we lived in the country she never knew the tug of a leash, so it
felt odd having the pull against my wrist, but at the same time I liked it,
that tension, getting to feel the weight of the wind upon her drawing. I took notes for the poem while flying my old
friend above me.